Monday, February 22, 2016

Biting the Bullet, pt. 1

You know the saying, sometimes you just have to bite the bullet? It can pertain to a lot of things in life. Just recently, I feel I've been 'biting the bullet' quite a bit. I've undergone a few minor changes, and it's amazing how that in itself can change your perspective on things.
I've quit communicating with a few people who I've been friends with for a couple years due to some rather irrational and obsessive behavior on there part. These are people I should be missing, but I'm just not missing them yet. Since my lack of communication with them, I find myself less negative and annoyed by every little thing. First off, I'm an empath, meaning that I draw my mood and emotions from those around me. Basically, if I'm around someone for a long period of time, be it a few hours or even being in their presence day after day, if they are depressed and/or negative, I start feeling depressed and/or negative, if they are happy, I feel happy. It's a difficult thing to deal with, and sometimes you don't even realize when your energy is being affected by another's. These people (one in particular) I had been friends with for about 3 years, and for me, that's a pretty long time. I am rather anti-social, and I think that is partially due to me being sensitive to others' energies.
I didn't realize how much they were affecting me until just recently, when I quit having day-to-day contact with them. My mind is clearer, I am less negative, I feel as if a huge burden has been lifted, even though I was never privy to there ever being a burden to begin with. It's remarkable, really. I can't believe I never realized what these people were doing to me mentally, I never knew till now, once they were cut off. When I was their friend, I never really saw there negativity until I was standing on the outside looking in from a whole new perspective.
Even though you think you may love someone and think you need them, sometimes they are doing you harm, and you just have to 'bite the bullet' and move on, for both your mental health and for the sake of those around you. They are negative, in turn, making you negative, and by you becoming negative, you could be spreading that on to someone else you may love and care for. Negativity is like a disease, it can be contagious, and will spread rapidly if you allow it to.
I am walking a new path as of now, and days seem a tad brighter than they did before. Granted, this wasn't a cure for my anxiety or depression... those things still remain my cross to bear.
Have you ever had someone in your life that you thought were doing good to you, but turn out they were just hurting you and you didn't even know?

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